call my name and come for me
by LeontillyBalambgirl
Summary: [oneshotSxR.fluff]Rinoas thoughts while in the sorceress memorial.The isolation,the pain of being taken from the chance of love.she wants to see her knight just once more so When he comes to set her free how does she feel in his arms again? R


**Disclaimer: I don't own ff8 or the characters. Sadly  
A/N: this is a short piece I had the idea for the other day. It is basically rinoas thoughts and experiences between the time the Esthar people come collect her to the time when Squall saves her. This is only my view on her thoughts ok, am not saying its true. But please read it you might like it!apologies, this is a repost. i somehow manged to delete the first version.oh dear.  
And I want to dedicate this to any true squinoa fans out there. Squinoa forever!**

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O**xygen Low'

'_I'm going to die' _Rinoa had thought she floated helplessly, endlessly through the inky blackness _'I'm going to die all alone out here' _

Rinoa remembered with all to much clarity how she'd felt at that moment as her life started to slip away. But she had survived because of him. He had saved her, held her close to him and almost by a miracle brought her back down to earth safely. But was all that just so this could happen?

"The sorceress will be seized upon arrival" the words had been constantly echoing in her head since she'd first head them crackle through the speaker back in space. And now, now they were here to take her. The two men from Esthar lead her to a large car and opened the back door.

Rinoa sat in the back and leant her head on the window, looking out as the landscape started to speed by.

Was this really it, the end for her? The end for her and Squall?

'_Was there ever a me and Squall?' _she thought sadly to herself _'he just…let me go. Let them take me. But maybe that was my fault. I told him this was for the best…I told him he had to let me go. But maybe I was hoping he'd look inside me and see what I was really thinking, see that I was really begging for him to take me far away somewhere, begging him to keep me close. I wonder what he's thinking now. Maybe…maybe he's sad too. Or maybe he's relieved, I would have just been a burden to him now I'm a sorceress'_ Rinoa shivered as she thought of herself as that. A sorceress. A danger and a threat. That's why she knew somewhere inside she had to go to Esthar. If she became possessed again…..

'_I don't even want to think about it.' _she thought to herself _'What would it have been like living as a sorceress. No-one would want to be around me. All my friends they'd hate me and fear me, worry every second I'd turn again. I couldn't take that. But then again, can I take this? Can I take being without Squall?'_

"We're here" Said one of the men from Esthar leading her towards the building which was tall and looming, like the doom she was feeling. Once taken inside Rinoa saw that the place was like a lab, full of machines, buttons, dials. And through a large window was what looked like a giant glass dome.

"All right Miss Rinoa. You understand that we have to seal your powers for the good of mankind future do you not"

"Yes. I understand" she said, not even really taking in what they were saying anymore. This was all too much. A man in a white lab coat entered the room and explained that the large glass dome in the room was for her, that was what would seal her powers.

An hour or so later she was trapped in it, with everyone in the other room watching her, probably scared she was trying to break out. She wasn't trying to break out. What did she have left to break out for? Her old life was gone, torn to pieces by this thing inside of her, this…evil. Her friends had made it their mission to stop the Sorceress, they would never accept her. And Squall…how willingly he had turned her over to Esthar. Maybe because he didn't care, or maybe just because he understood too that this was for the best. Although, now Rinoa was starting to regret her choice

'_Am I going to spend my whole life here, alone? Just trapped here, completely stuck, being watched by people like I'm some kind of …freak. Maybe that's what I am. Why did it have to be this way? Why me? I thought…I though I'd found love, the type of love that would last forever. Who knows if he felt the same? But regardless of what he felt, I do…I love him. Squall…why did we let it end this way? We could have run or fought. Weren't we worth fighting for? Then again…you did ask me to stay…at least once…why didn't I just stay? Maybe this is for the good of the world, but what about the good of us? The good of my life? Is that selfish…is it selfish to want to be happy. Maybe it is…maybe I don't deserve to be happy. I suppose I never will be happy. I'll just stay here, trapped, alone, waiting for the day I die. Squall…I wish I could talk to you one more time. This wouldn't be so bad if we'd have had the chance for a proper goodbye, so I could tell you everything I wanted to. I love you Squall, more than anything else. When I needed you, you were there, when you held me when I was afraid I've never felt safer, when I was with you I felt strong, I felt happy. That's what I wanted you to know. And I want you to know how much I want to hear you call my name, how much I secretly wish, as impossible as it is, that you will come for me. How much I wish you'd love me…but I know you could never be safe around me that's why I have to stay here. Besides… you could never love a sorceress… ' _

Rinoa felt tears fall down her cheeks, and she knew she had to stop thinking, cut off all thought before it made her too sad. _'Goodbye everyone, goodbye life, goodbye freedom' _Rinoa felt her heart ache as she had one more final goodbye to make '_Goodbye Squall, I'll never forget you…maybe, hopefully, you'll think of me one day'_

And with that Rinoa closed her eyes and surrendered herself to the emptiness she felt taking over her heart and body.But there was the sound of a sudden commotion in the room beyond, yelling, commotion and a familiar voice. The door at the end of the room she was in flew open and her heart nearly stopped when she saw Squall running towards her. He was here! He came for her!

"Rinoa!!" he called

"Squall!" Rinoa called to him, still overwhelmed by his sudden appearance. He had to save her, he had to get her out of there.

"Rinoa, hold on! I'll get you out in a second!" Squall observed the huge machinery that was holding Rinoa but seemed to have no clue how to get her out "What am I supposed to do!? Come on!" he cried, sounding incredibly anxious and confused.

Rinoa watched helplessly but hopefully as he stood there for a second, before drawing his gun blade and slicing the panel and cables holding the giant contraption together.

A cloud of steam filled the whole air around her and blinking through it, she could see Squall, his eyes frantically searching through the smoke and steam for her. The sensation of being trapped fade away, and She fell forward, falling directly into Squalls arms. She felt him pull her closer to him and embrace her, his arms becoming more and more tightly wrapped around her. He had come to save her, just like she had been hoping and wishing he would. She felt instantly comforted by the sensation of being his arms, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling herself closer to him and she buried her head in his shoulder, the fur of his collar warming the side of her face. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and let the feelings she was feeling take over, let the comfort and happiness she felt thaw the icy cold feeling she had had from being alone. She could feel his hand gently stroking her hair as he kept tightly hold of her. After a few seconds the reality hit her though. She loved Squall, but being so close to him and being a sorceress, there could come a time when she could hurt him. She didn't want to take that chance. Reluctantly she said

"Squall, don't…I'm a sorceress now"

But in the way he had done since she first met him, he took away all of her fears, dried the tears she was crying inside and made her feel completely and totally safe. Looking deeply into her eyes he said "I don't care…"  
And then he pulled her close to him again.

Rinoa felt more happiness than she had ever known from those simple words. He wanted to save her, wanted to be with her. He had come for her just as she had wanted.

Everything she was feeling in that moment she wanted to feel the rest of her life, and she knew she could only feel that way with Squall.

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**You know you I think of all my fluff, that is the fluffiest I've done.It was really fluffy I couldn't resist writing it though because its always really intrigued me what Rinoa was thinking because during that time we only got squalls thought and well what was Rinoa feeling plus from space up to when he saves her is my favourite bit of any game ver. the fmv where he saves her and they hug is the best thing in the world, best fmv in 8 or any other game! so i just had to fic it lol!. Oh and by the way when it says about squall willingly turning her over to Esthar, I'm not squall bashing, I don't think he did it very willingly, I am just trying to represent what doubt may have made her think. I really enjoyed writing that though seriously. It made me want to cry when I wrote it (but that was probably because it was horrendously bad, and not because it was beautiful like I had hoped.) well I hope you enjoyed and let me know what you think. Thanks xx**

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